(Modest Thoughts with Ayuba Yilgak'ha, February 27, 2024; 08116181263)*
"Nothing sweet pass first week of relationship you go think say una go marry next." I saw and read this meme text from this popular "L.o.u.d@loud_republic". My immediate reaction is represented or written below:
"That's the fact. The first week na beauty/handsome sticker; the succeeding weeks or months or years will be checker. Humanly, first day in a relationship is based on physical consideration, most times; the succeeding days, behavioural issues will come into consideration! The face and the physique is mostly the first attraction. Do you realise that?
The behaviour of some persons smell awful like armpit or sting badly like the bee. Character potholes are always the intervening problems. I'm just thinking sha. I don't know if I make sense here. Point is, if you know the stuff some chaps/lads are made up of, you won't bother to stop and greet them let alone relating with them. You will literarily run away from day one!
Character deficit people smell like armpit, he-goat, goskolo, or even soak away even in their character. They are character liabilities even to themselves and, sadly, when things don't work for them, they blame imaginary witches and wizards from their villages or neighborhood!
First day encounter, even if accidental, is based on packaging. Succeeding days is often based on reality. Time seeks hidden details which character represents. That guy you ruled out with the wave of hand might be a perfect match for you when you look beyond the fading physical; that guy you embraced with giving a second thought might be the worst choice if you had looked beyond the fading physical too. It is a probability thing because there is no absolute or assurance when you ignore the physical.
I have seen literarily ugly faces that are beautiful/handsome inside and literarily beautiful/handsome faces that are terribly ugly inside. When your succeeded in getting a choice that is ugly outside but beautiful/handsome inside, you are lucky; beautiful/handsome outside but ugly inside, you are unlucky. When your choice is beautiful/handsome outside but ugly inside, you are unfortunate and, finally, when you got your choice beautiful/handsome both inside-out, you are the most luck. The last outcome is the highest goal of every objective suitor!
Human beings do make reviews and when they do, sometimes, the feel satisfied with where they are coming from or the relationships they have kept. Sometimes, however, they regret meeting some elements not to talk of relating with them!
On a first date Suya, Sharwama, fish, Esewu might be cheerfully supplied but over time, the person you were extravagant about might not even be worth a cup of pap from a purely human point of view!
Human love is conditional (Eros - romantic or philia - family ties). The conditionality of Eros and philia love types is to the extent that when certain condition or criteria are not met, then, the relationship collapse even though the persons involved are still together in the physical. They could be together but their emotional attachments have since broken to pieces or shattered like a pack of cards. This is different from God's love!
God's kind of love is unconstitutional (agape). It is better understood and expressed when the other person is at fault. The unconditionality of God's love is captured in, at least, two portions of the scriptures. The first is John 3:16: "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believe in him shall not perish but have evaluating life." The second one is Romans 5:8 which says: "But God demonstrates his love for us in this: While we were still sinner, he died for us." No conditions.
The motivation of every relationship is the primary determinant of the longevity or otherwise of it. If a relationship is cultivated based on mundane considerations, you can be sure it won't last. In other words, relationships have changing taste depending one how you go about it even from the start. What tasted sweet at the beginning could as well tastes sour or even better along the line!
There are exceptional situations where character might not be the problem but the other partner just develop cold feet in a relationship. The reasons for this can only be speculated. It might be mood swing or change of preference or taste in the kind of person desired amongst others. Whichever, if character is not the problem, then, it is needless jilting or abandoning someone you care about yesterday. Should there be genuine reason to leave, do so in love because you never can tell what tomorrow brings!
As a general strategy to forestall possible break up, it has been opined that prospecting suitors should, "start imagining the worst about people you want to get involve with in any way to see if you can cope with it rather than picking there good part and ignoring their worst side." This suggest that people do have their worst sides that no one should underestimate. No matter how good someone can be, they have tendencies that may not be easily changed but tolerated. If you cannot tolerate, then, break up is inevitable, especially, when the relationship has not been consummate into marriage yet.
Well, if not for the tendency of men (generic usage) to be abnormal sometimes, there shouldn't be any reason for the worst to be anticipated or fear intertwined in a love enterprise. In a genuine encounter, the anticipation is for love beds to be mutually good in character and responsibility in their love affair. Relationships are not for tykes!
Because charity backgrounds differ, character and responsibility matters a lot in every relationship. It is mutual responsibility that could make suitors or marriage partners to adjust to level their outstanding differences to allow for their continuous stay together. It takes responsible people to disagree a thousand times and find a thousand way out. With any trace of irresponsibility on the side of any partner, one disagreement (sometimes minor a one for that matter) will bring a relationship that had beautiful start to an abrupt end. It is happening, especially, in this generation that patience is fast eluding humanity!
Before conclude, the point has to be made that time has the potential to change the chemistry of relationship, even the well cultivated ones. On the other hand, character is a constant. Therefore, the single most important factor will make a relationship last even when other variables change is character sustained by high sense of responsibility. This key virtue drive from consciously and deliberately mimicking or drawing inspiration and motivation from the example God sets for humanity through Christ Jesus!
The single and searching amongst us might find these contents useful. When next you want to start a relationship, determine, ab initio, what you want to make out of it before you regret it thereafter. Beware of infatuation which a temporal emotional attachment that is often mistaken for love. If you want to maintain the initial taste of your relationship, go for character from day one not ephemeral motivations. 'A stitch in time', they say, 'saves nine.' I believe in this wisdom as far as these issues of relationships are concerned!
No comments:
Post a Comment