THE RISE OF SOCIAL MEDIA PHILOSOPHERS

THE RISE OF SOCIAL MEDIA PHILOSOPHERS

*(Modest Thoughts with Ayuba Yilgak'ha, June 16, 2022; SMS: 08116181263)*

Knowledge is mobile. There are schools everywhere. Apart from the home, markets, places of worship, conventional schools, places of work and workshops,  the internet, especially the social media segment of it promises to be a phenomenal school.

The value one creates out of the Social Media is determined by the capacity of the users of it to focus on what really matters. A man or woman who does not have the discipline to exercise tact will be lost in the dynamics and frequency of information flow on the social media. 

I have gathered alot of intelligence and processed them to produce useful information packages that have, or will touch lives in many ways than one. One of the areas that have recently caught my attention on the Social Media platform is related to issues in relationships. 

As a matter of fact, how to become political party delegate and crashed relationships have suddenly turned the Social Media space into an advanced and interesting school of philosophy. Today's prose, is centred on relationship matters.

I have observed that in today's world, most people have become philosophers, lovers of wisdom, courtesy the reality of their divergent experiences, particularly, as they concern issues of rusted, soured or broken relationships. Philosophy means derived idea(s). On Social Media, people share their experiences generously that one could easily make learning curriculums out of them.

I have learnt two profound principles or philosophies from the Social Media these few days. First is what I called the psychology of women feelings and, secondly, the psychology of breakups. These phenomena will help serve as useful resource material for singles and reference material for relationship/marriage counsellors.

Let me start with the second one: The psychology of breakups. As I randomly viewed through WhatsApp status' posts on my contact list, I saw a text that reads: "Nowadays they don't say it's over. They misbehave till you get tired and walk away. It's called, constructive break up!" The imperatives here are the word, "Misbehave" and the phrase, "Constructive Breakup!" - CB. Permit me to code named it the CB Law!

CB Law, originally called Constructive Breakup in psychology of breakup is when a friend wants to jilt another friend in action. "Action", they say, "speaks louder than voice." Therefore, when a friend wants to abandon you, the loudest way communicate that is to continually misbehave with the prime assumption that the victim will get tired and frustrated to let go of the relationship.

What is striking in this case is the fact that the relationship is not a new one but something went wrong and somebody who once claimed being in love began to maltreat his or her friend in such an unruly manner. 

The justification or otherwise of such treatment could be a subject of debate but morally, I feel it's not right to misbehave, whatsoever. I feel civil adults should live and act civil because tomorrow shall always come. One does not have to 'misbehave' to send a friend parking because the bridge you burnt today might just be the bridge you need to cross over emerging hurdles in life. Hence, Luck Dube's counsel and command: "Don't close the door behind you

You might wanna go through it someday

Don't burn that bridge"!

The our second story, the psychology of human feeling, derives from another post gotten another WhatsApp Status in my contacts. The author wrote: "No matter how good you treat a woman, if you are not the man she has feelings for, she will never appreciate your efforts. Women are loyal to their feelings. They don't care about your sacrifice." The imperative here is the 'care' of a woman, namely, her feeling!

What then is the nature of a woman feeling? Is it different from that of a man? I don't know but what I can deduce from the author of this psychology is that the feeling of a woman is not material sensitive. What this means is that no one should use material things as a means of winning over a woman because he will regret it if her feeling is not favourably disposed to the person's personality. After all, true love is measured by the sacrifices one make without strings attached - That is, sacrificing without expecting a repay!

I tried probing to ascertain the motivation for the post from my friend. Hear me as I asked: "I can see you philosophising on the psychology of women, ... Did you attend Advanced University of Women Affairs? How did you arrive at that bogus conclusion?" The a respond I got was simply, "No sir"!

My friend explain: 'It is just that most of my friends are women, ... and my experience too, sir.' I then probed further, "What experience? Tell me, my friend. Were you jilted despite your sacrifices?" The friend posed for a while and then responded in anamatopiac fashion, "Hmmmm"!

All ears, I interjected and waited for further reactions. He then replied, "Sir, it is a long story"! However my friend open up  told me: 'I was in a relationship with a lady for more than 4 years. After all that i did for her, she ended up marrying the person she has feeling for.'

 

Questions started brewing inside my head. Did I hear him said, '...she ended up marrying the person she has feeling for'? I borrowed words to have a monologue "End of discussion or discussion continues?" The response I gave myself resulted in the prose you just read!

I took pittied and consoled my friend staying: "Eiyaa... It's well. "It is better a broken relationship", they say, "than a broken marriage."" Personally, I subscribe to this philosophy, not partially but wholly!

When a relationship broke, though a sad thing to happen, it is an opportunity to go for a better one but when marriage broke, everything has broken. Having said that, however, why do some friends put their once best friends through psychological stress or truama called broken heart?

Everybody wants the best or wants to be the best. We can achieve these cravings without necessarily breaking people's heart. How possible, you might ask? Just try to be civil and lovely in quitting. That is my theology but it can be yours too!

Constructive Breakup is and cannot be constructive within the context of morality, civility and history. Anybody can walk away but doing it responsibly is the best.

Socrates once wrote: "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." This statement is quite profoundly loaded in the light of current realities in our world. However, I dare say, you don't have to be married to be circumstantially happy or become philosopher. That level can be arguably elementary. The quickest, fastest and advanced way of becoming a philosopher in post-modern/digital world is to try pre-marital relationships. Some are hell inside hell of hell. You can pardon my jargon here, please.

Feelings and emotions does matter, the drive human instincts but as a man protect and preserve his, show empathy some empathy by respecting that of others. Let me conclude by saying that manner of approach matters. You only go for the better when the best is not possible and luckily, civility in relationships is a practical possible. Go for it if you, really, understood the thesis, antithesis and synthesis of this analytical narrative.