EARLY MARRIAGE IN THE 21st CENTURY

(Modest Thoughts with Ayuba Yilgak'ha, January 15, 2023; 08116181263; loisayuba420@gmail.com)

*Introduction*

This discussion is  based on the understanding generated from the Bible books of Genesis 2:18; Ecclesiates. 4.9; Ephisians 5:21-33. Observation from personal experiences of couples in the society also shapes the thoughts represented here.

Marriage is an institution and a responsibility for adults. In a world where issues of life are becoming more complex and cost of living unbearable, marriage decision that should be taken with much caution.

*Early Marriage defined*

It is not easy to conceptualise & define what Early Marriage entails. However, the fact that marriage is for adults (who have the capacity to bear responsibility associated with it), then the clarification has to be made that marriage is not for teenagers/dependents (ages between 13 & 18 year based on Nigeria Constitution).

The age of adulthood starts from 18 year above. There is this adage about marriage which cautioned as follow:  "A young man not yet; an older man not at all"! This means that marriage is fundamentally about striking a balance between being young or old in order to have the strength to shoulder its responsibilities.

Anyone who wants to marry has to be physiologically, mentally, emotionally, materially stable not in age alone. It is important to note that 'it's not how fast one marries but how well he fares in the marriage that matters.'

*Responsibilities in Marriage*

Marriage responsibilities ranges from the provision of companionship; parenting, that is, diligent raising of family; ministering in love, gospel and hospitality; meeting holistic family needs which can be physical, spiritual, emotional and intellectual; providing leadership through influence, vision curving and courage. These are heavy responsibilities which are increasingly becoming complex as far as the 21st century is concerned.

It is the increasing complexities of issues of the century that many families are disintegrating in recent times. The problems of the 21st century which have direct or indirect link with marriage & family are distortions in marriage orientation; cost of living in the face of abject poverty & unemployment; secularism (external/internal influences) as well as government legislation, etc.

The implication of early marriage (premature) is that couple will have to bear responsibilities that are heavier than they can bear. Having said that, with determination, there are no responsibility that cannot be shouldered. 

Before marriage, count the cost to be sure you can bear them or have yourself to blame, going forward. And he that blames himself for marriage may have to do so for life except there is divine intervention from above.

*Conclusion*

Failure of parenting at the family level is at the root of most of the contractions the society is facing today: Single parent, bastards, crimes & upsurge in criminality, etc.. These unsettling contradictions have to be deliberately curtailed through constructive engagements with couples and intending couples to be championed by religious, community and agencies of government which coordinates issues social welfare, family and community relations.